Into Exile

Hello Once Again Audience.

In the past few months I’ve been asked a lot of questions. There’s been the standard ‘how are you?’ all the way to the obscure ‘can I lick your eyeball?’ (I politely declined this very generous and friendly offer). But in all these questions there have been two that have been asked on a semi regular basis; ‘what made you join the LDS church?’ and ‘what made you come back to “normal” church?’. Over the next two posts I shall attempt to answer both of these questions, possibly in far greater detail than I have given in person. I would like to briefly take this time to reassure any LDS friends reading this that while I have no great love for your church anymore; I still love you and shall do my utmost to be respectful of your faith.

So, without any further ado, let’s ask the first question. Why did I join the LDS church? This is the question I’ve had the harder time answering, because in some ways I simply don’t know. There we go, I hope you enjoyed this post, join me for part two later this week. I’m kidding, obviously. I shall start with the basics and develop as we go along.

The short answer is that in many ways the unorthodox doctrines made sense, at least how they were explained to me. LDS conversion lessons are done in such a way that you don’t progress onto the next ‘module’ until you’ve understood what’s been taught. And once you do understand you have one of two reactions ‘what a load of twaddle’ or ‘that’s incredible’. I obviously had the second reaction. Before I progress the timeline on, I feel a need to explain why I was in a place where the second reaction happened. How someone who’d been going to church all his life and had been somewhat Christian for at least half that time ended up, essentially, saying ‘you’re wrong’.

Readers of the old blog will know that for several years I attended Euston Church. But even you old guard may not know the exact details of what went on in the final year, although from various posts, you may have guessed. Allow me to confirm your suspicions. Yes; there was a girl involved. I won’t name names or get into specifics, but those who were there should know who I mean. Anyway, we liked each other and all of that, so we decided to date, but then life threw us a curveball and dating was by far the most stupid thing we could do, so we called it off. Only problem was that I (we, I think, it’s been a while) had gotten far more attached than I had any right to be. And it hurt to be around Euston while she was still there.

This, coupled with increasing financial commitment of travelling to London twice a week, led to me trying to find a church closer to home, much closer if possible. By chance, a couple of weeks later I convinced Ross to come with to the carols in the square that happens every Christmas in Hitchin. After that Hub was hosting a kind of after party that we went to, more for the free mince pies in Ross’ case, he’s never one to turn down free food! Anyway, the following Sunday Hub was hosting their own carols that I decided to go to. I can’t remember if Ross came, and he has no recollection of this or the square, so yeah. But I went and liked it enough to bookmark it so I could check it out after the Christmas madness.

After Christmas and the following New Years celebrations, I went and found it to be a really good church. So I decided, after much debating, to leave Euston and join Hub full time. Only problem there is I’m a sentimental old chap. I found it very hard to stay away from Euston and eventually just settled with spending time at both on alternate weeks, whilst still going to my Euston small group. But eventually this lack of committal to either church ended up with me wondering if either one was more suited to me, or whether there was another, better church waiting for me to discover it. Enter the LDS church. I didn’t really intend on joining, it was more that I’d heard about them, didn’t really know anything and wanted to find out what made them tick. So I arranged a meeting. And the two guys that met me were so friendly that I felt kinda bad saying no when they asked to meet again. So I had a second lesson and it all went from there.

But I didn’t really take the time to think. I dismissed Ken’s suggestion of meeting up to discuss it (my apologies Ken). I, as I always did, didn’t think of the consequences. I thought I’d found the ‘one true church’ and didn’t bother looking at any evidence to the contrary. I didn’t talk to any Christian friends to get their opinion. It’s like when you buy a car. Do you just take the word of the dealer? Or do you go online; see what car magazines have written, see what people who’ve driven it have said? Obviously you get all the advice you can. That’s not to say I’d have listened. Please don’t go away thinking ‘if only I’d have talked to him’, looking at you there, Daniel. But in many ways I think knowing what I do now, not about the church, but about what happened to me, there’s no way I would have gone into exile. Realising just what I was walking away from remains the hardest thing I’ve ever done. No more camp, no more Euston. Years long friendships that slowly eroded away. People I’d never meet. I dunno. But now you, dear reader, know at least the essentials of why I left. If you want to know more, please ask. If not, do join me next time for how I returned!

Safety, peace and love

-Connor